Assignment 20 - Aislinn Langley

It's pretty easy to find information on how to build a fire in any survival manual or scout handbook. However, these painstaking steps don't cut it when you have twenty screaming kids running around and their tin foil-wrapped dinners needing to be cooked, and a potentially dangerous summer thunderstorm about to break over the mountains at any time. So here's some instructions on how to build a fire like a camp counselor. People who build fires for survival or ambiance will object to everything I'm about to suggest, so please bear with me.
Step One: Set a giant piece of laundry lint or scrap cloth in the center of your fire circle and then cover that thing with as many tiny little sticks possible. Stuff some unlit matches in there too - you're not on Survivor so you can afford to go crazy with the crappy cardboard matches.
Step Two: Light that sucker up. Just keep striking matches and adding them until you have a small flame going. Then carefully pile on slightly larger twigs.
Step Three: If you're still with me after the huge breach in fire-building code (that of using obscene numbers of matches), brace yourself for another shocker. The most important thing at this point is speed; sometimes your have to give up the luxury of efficient fire-building when it's a matter of feeding your kids and getting them to the storm shelter. One of the most basic fire facts is that fires burn faster and hotter when they have more oxygen, which is why fanning a fire is a good of way of helping it grow. But any fire guru will tell you to not fan the fire once its gets going because it makes the fire too hot and makes you go through wood more quickly. But guess what, that thunder's getting close, so grab a dustpan and fan the fire like your life depends on it.
Step Four: Only stop the frantic fanning to add more and larger wood to the fire. Once you can get a grate over it, start putting the kids' foil packs on. Sure, the high flames and temperature cause the food to cook less evenly, but the kids couldn't care less and you need to be fast.
Step Five, the second the last pack comes off, grab water bottle and take a swig. Then spit the water into the flames. Repeat this until the flames are mostly down. Then just start pouring water into the coals to put everything out. This is another big breach of conduct, but you won't need the fire circle until next week and the heavens are about to open up anyway. Hopefully one of your coworkers remembered to prepare and roast a pack for you too.