I never had to choose my subject- my subject rather chose me: Jamie Smith

fears: drowning, fish (alive and dead), wasting life and not taking and risks

annoyances: selfish people, people who are so smart but act dumb/ don’t try at all, having things stuck in my eye

accomplishments: doing well in school, trying to meet new people/ make friends

confusions: whether I want to be introverted or extraverted, people in general

sorrows: wasting two years of high school, not being able to help everyone who needs it (especially suicidal people)

dreams: travel as many places as I can go, go to a good college and have fun while I’m there

idiosyncrasies: hate it when my eyebrows are wet, unreasonably afraid of ovens

risks: giving up on swimming, talking to new people

beloved possessions: ring with same engraving as my best friends from Israel, book Looking for Alaska

problems: self-confidence, shyness, being harsh on myself

I chose to expand on my fear of drowning. It is by far my biggest fear, which seems ridiculous because I swim competitively. Fortunately, I usually don’t get terrified every day. However, when it is dark and there are shadows in the pool at early morning practices or I am in an ocean or lake, I am always terrified out of my mind. There have been a couple of times when I’ve been trapped in a wave at the beach even only for a couple seconds, but after that I can’t force myself in the water for the rest of the vacation. The thing is, I know I’m a strong swimmer and that I shouldn’t be so scared of drowning- there is only a tiny chance I will drown- but I can’t help it; it just overpowers my mind sometimes. In movies, when people are forced underwater, I can’t watch. If I do, I have nightmares for weeks afterward. Yet I force myself in the water every day anyway, and I can’t tell if its making my fear better or worse.